I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
