you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
