Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
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I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
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I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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