doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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