I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
How does one acquire holy water?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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