How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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