It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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