the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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