To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
