Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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