yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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