Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
