What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
