We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
