i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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