okay pat passed out under dana's car
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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