Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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