Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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