When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We need to get me chipped asap
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
