i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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