I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
