I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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