Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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