i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
