At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
