I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
