O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
