It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
