It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
