this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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