is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
