In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize