Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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