I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
