doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
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I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
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Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize