I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
operation have a gay friend backfired
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
