Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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