You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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