everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
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I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
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Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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