No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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