non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
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