He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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