we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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