Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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