so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
