I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
