The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
