as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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