i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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