dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
