I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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