I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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