That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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