Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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